I CAN MOONWALK!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
