do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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