Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
