just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
