He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
