last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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