We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
