I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
