So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
