Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
