too bad you live with your parents still
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
