Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
