I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
