yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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