Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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