i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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