hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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