did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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