i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
