fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
