why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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