You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
