He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
