gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
