I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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