you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
