And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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