Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
