Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
