i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
