At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
