My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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