Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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