Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
