If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
