Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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