those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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