First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
