the condom got lost in my hair
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
