and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
