I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
