when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
