why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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