So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
