All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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