just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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