i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
