How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
