no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize