Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
