You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
