isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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