My brain says no but my pants say off.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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